you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Randomize
