so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Is this like a preordered booty call?
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
