OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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