I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
