Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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