Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
