but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Randomize
