the condom got lost in my hair
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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