ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Randomize
