youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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