What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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