it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
