i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I wish i was in the wii world.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
