i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
