I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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