i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
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