She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
