She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
