He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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