He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
