god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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