No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
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