why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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