You can't motorboat a personality
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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