Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
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