how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Randomize
