Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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