If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
And the cops told us we were all naked.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
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