I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
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