He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Randomize
