Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
