but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
