Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
He is an equal opportunity slut.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Randomize
