Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Randomize
