that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
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