Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Welp...herpes.
Everything about him screamed your future.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
