do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
