I don't usually arrange sex via text message
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
