im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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