You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
The uberlube is also flammable
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Randomize
