She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
