Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I booty called her while she was in labor.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Randomize
