it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
