I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Boobs are out for the taking
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Randomize
