I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Randomize
