Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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