I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize
