Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
honey bunches of taint.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
