Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
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