I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize
