she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
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