he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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