Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
